Whenever I find that I need to find a new hairdresser--someone who understands a fine-haired, cowlick-y head such as mine and can turn what can be a limp, semi-unruly mess into a cutesy, feminine pixie 'do--I have to shop around a while. Especially after I've uprooted and moved to a new city.
In September 2007, I moved back here to Portland after 6 years in Minneapolis; I only just now--in the last 2 months--found a hairdresser who understands my above criteria beautifully. In fact, when I went for my first cut, the first thing she did (well, the second, after introductions and getting me seated in her chair) was run her hands liberally through my hair, as if she were practicing the fine art of Phrenology.
"I'm looking for cowlicks," she said, matter-of-factly.
In that moment, I felt I'd found my hairdresser.
She "got" me. She got my head, my hair, my cowlicks. We chatted amicably. I really enjoyed the experience (I'm usually fairly "angsty" about my hair, especially with a new hairdresser, and find that I tend to "future-trip" about the outcome rather than settle in and enjoy the transformative process). And I emerged after more than an hour of her careful clipping & snipping with an adorable new cut.
I was, quite literally, in good hands.
Finding a good fit with a Certified Professional Coach (CPC) is similar to the way I established a happy sense of safety and rapport with my hairdresser; while it will likely not take nearly 3 years (if you're really ready to take those life-altering, soul-satisfying Big Leaps into the Life of Your Dreams, you'll want the process of finding and working with a great CPC to move a little more swiftly), it definitely takes deliberation, trusting your intuition, asking lots of questions (yes, you get to "interview" your coach), and gathering references from others who've been coached.
But why is rapport so important?
Simple. If you don't have rapport with your CPC, you won't be getting a complete coaching experience. You won't go as deep and as far as you could in the coaching process, because you won't feel safe, or connected to, or understood. You know how you feel with your very best friend--as if you could tell them anything at all, and they love you anyway, warts and all? That they always have your back? That they always want the best for you, and always want to cheer you on and be active participants in all the good moments of your life? That they're a comfortable, safe haven for you in the world?
You should pretty much feel the same way with any CPC you work with. You should feel welcome; you should feel important, and the way you express yourself should be reflected back to you by your CPC clearly, letting you know in return that they truly "get" your vision and your unique self-expression (this alone can be determined in an initial get-to-know-you phonecall); you should feel championed; you should get a sense of your CPC as a real person, a person first, who truly, authentically loves the process of coaching and always has your best interest in mind. You should feel like everything your CPC reflects back--even if, occasionally, it's hard to hear--comes from a place of authentic support and caring for you and your objectives. Your journey should be as important to your CPC as it is to you.
When we finally decide to seek Life Coaching, it's often because we know deeply that we're ready to make a significant change, and changing anything about our lives (even our hair!) and navigating any roadblocks that may come up in the process can be challenging. Therefore, establishing that safe, comfortable sense of rapport with your CPC (and your hairdresser!) makes the whole process feel better and more safe, more deeply revealing, more alive, and more fun, hence enabling us to grow exponentially, explore without limitations, and become our very best selves.
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