It's the Small Things...

As a Professional Life Coach, I'm really big on rapport; that's apparent from my last blog entry. I'm also really big on the little things that Life Coaches can do for their clients to nurture and sustain their working relationship for the length of time that they HAVE a working relationship--whether it be for 1 session, 1 month, 3 months, or longer.

One way I nurture a working relationship is by having an "open door" policy for my clients as we coach, which means when my client and I have finished our scheduled weekly meeting, they're also welcome to continually check in with me as desired via phone or email as new thoughts, perspectives, and potential "aha!'s" occur. Yes, my clients pay me for my time as their Life Coach in one-hour increments; but when we're done with that week's meeting and have turned our attention to other tasks in our respective lives, I want them to know their coach is still in the universe with their best interests in mind and cheering them on in absentia.

Does this take up a lot of valuable time? Not at all. I have never received a phone call in the wee hours (I'd be asleep anyway!) nor have any of my clients abused the privilege and locked up my in-box with a plethora of emails. I always appreciate hearing from them and knowing how they're doing and what's been working for them in-between our meetings. Of course, not all my clients need or want this extra support; it's not their style to continue processing after we've finished our hour, and often, one meeting a week is enough (processing and making significant changes in our lives--even those changes that we want and which excite us--can be hard and tiring work!) But for others, it's useful and meaningful. And that's fine.

For example, after one of my coaching sessions, a client of mine emailed me a poem that resonated with her; in return, I sent her a poem that seemed to speak to where she was on her journey of self-awareness (good for rapport!). She also liked to leave occasional voicemails updating me on her weekly progress and the regular discoveries she was making about her strengths and her life, and I always appreciated receiving them. It wasn't always necessary to call her back because often, her updates were simply FYIs until our next meeting.

A few weeks after my poem-sending client finished out her contract with me, I received another lengthy email from her updating me on her new job. She sounded very happy and wanted to share the good news with her former Life Coach, and I was happy to share in her excitement and felt like a proud parent reading her update, since a new job was a personal goal that she had met.

It's a sincere honor to be gifted with the significant life-altering details of my clients' lives, and I take their journeys just as seriously as they do.

So although keeping an open door between meetings is a personal preference--doing it or not doing it is neither right nor wrong--for me personally, the tidbits that are shared are just one more wonderful aspect of being a Professional Life Coach (and there are so many!)

A small thing, really, that's actually pretty big.

Good Hair & the Importance of Rapport

Rapport: "relation; connection, esp. harmonious or sympathetic relation."

Whenever I find that I need to find a new hairdresser--someone who understands a fine-haired, cowlick-y head such as mine and can turn what can be a limp, semi-unruly mess into a cutesy, feminine pixie 'do--I have to shop around a while. Especially after I've uprooted and moved to a new city.

In September 2007, I moved back here to Portland after 6 years in Minneapolis; I only just now--in the last 2 months--found a hairdresser who understands my above criteria beautifully. In fact, when I went for my first cut, the first thing she did (well, the second, after introductions and getting me seated in her chair) was run her hands liberally through my hair, as if she were practicing the fine art of Phrenology.

"I'm looking for cowlicks," she said, matter-of-factly.

In that moment, I felt I'd found my hairdresser.

She "got" me. She got my head, my hair, my cowlicks. We chatted amicably. I really enjoyed the experience (I'm usually fairly "angsty" about my hair, especially with a new hairdresser, and find that I tend to "future-trip" about the outcome rather than settle in and enjoy the transformative process). And I emerged after more than an hour of her careful clipping & snipping with an adorable new cut.

I was, quite literally, in good hands.

Finding a good fit with a Certified Professional Coach (CPC) is similar to the way I established a happy sense of safety and rapport with my hairdresser; while it will likely not take nearly 3 years (if you're really ready to take those life-altering, soul-satisfying Big Leaps into the Life of Your Dreams, you'll want the process of finding and working with a great CPC to move a little more swiftly), it definitely takes deliberation, trusting your intuition, asking lots of questions (yes, you get to "interview" your coach), and gathering references from others who've been coached.


But why is rapport so important?

Simple. If you don't have rapport with your CPC, you won't be getting a complete coaching experience. You won't go as deep and as far as you could in the coaching process, because you won't feel safe, or connected to, or understood. You know how you feel with your very best friend--as if you could tell them anything at all, and they love you anyway, warts and all? That they always have your back? That they always want the best for you, and always want to cheer you on and be active participants in all the good moments of your life? That they're a comfortable, safe haven for you in the world?

You should pretty much feel the same way with any CPC you work with. You should feel welcome; you should feel important, and the way you express yourself should be reflected back to you by your CPC clearly, letting you know in return that they truly "get" your vision and your unique self-expression (this alone can be determined in an initial get-to-know-you phonecall); you should feel championed; you should get a sense of your CPC as a real person, a person first, who truly, authentically loves the process of coaching and always has your best interest in mind. You should feel like everything your CPC reflects back--even if, occasionally, it's hard to hear--comes from a place of authentic support and caring for you and your objectives. Your journey should be as important to your CPC as it is to you.

When we finally decide to seek Life Coaching, it's often because we know deeply that we're ready to make a significant change, and changing anything about our lives (even our hair!) and navigating any roadblocks that may come up in the process can be challenging. Therefore, establishing that safe, comfortable sense of rapport with your CPC (and your hairdresser!) makes the whole process feel better and more safe, more deeply revealing, more alive, and more fun, hence enabling us to grow exponentially, explore without limitations, and become our very best selves.