Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes......

My goodness, it's been a while. No two ways about it.

The last time I posted was just prior to my accepting a full-time Executive Coaching gig with Inside Track here in Portland on April 30th, 2012--nearly 10 months ago!

Many things have changed since then. Professionally, I moved from coaching students with DeVry Online to coaching students with Cal State Online (the new online initiative for Cal State University students--very exciting!) On a personal note, I moved into a new living space in December--not my preferred month to move, for obvious reasons, but I've moved enough to know that you gotta strike when the opportunity presents itself when a new place comes up that suits your personal criteria. There's a story here.

As a coach, I'm lucky to be equipped with a personal toolbox that enables me to "self-coach" as necessary. I'd wanted to move for quite some time, but the momentum simply wasn't there. So I did a values assessment and got very clear on what the most important top 3 criteria in a new space would be for me; the ability to walk to work was basically number one (cat-friendly & wood floors, as well as non-smoking, were right up there, too).

As soon as I had that personal "Aha!," I found a place that afforded me a lovely, relaxing, centering 35-minute walk to work in the morning (and, as it stays lighter longer, in the early evening, as well). It fell into place very swiftly and easily. Clarifying our values really does charge up our momentum and enable us to gain a LOT of clarity & understanding about the direction we should be heading.

Also on the personal front, I've been supporting my sister and mother as they are the primary caregivers for my father, who is managing Myelofibrosis, a rather nasty/energy-sapping chronic form of Leukemia that involves a lot of hospital trips for transfusions. This is where my (12-step) program comes in handy--in the face of a chronic cancer, all we are truly able to do is take things One Day at a Time.

I've had to be conscious of my own self-care in the midst of so much transition, which involves (yes) those morning walks, enough sleep, acupuncture, and cooking healthfully, as well as my own process work for grief issues when they come up.  And I love holiday goodies and indulged this past season with gusto, understanding intrinsically that it's a moment in time and a celebration that feels good to participate in (and no, I am not one to turn down the gift of Greek Butter Cookies when a friend gives me a homemade box of them!) BUT I do begin feeling the effects of so much toothsomeness, so returning to my vegan/vegetarian home-cooked meals (with very little sugar) has been the best resolution for returning to functional normalcy. The better diet also helps those little pings and pangs that come along with being 47 and starting to feel the (really weird) effects of (sigh!) perimenopause.

At this point, I'm mostly moved in, the cats are enjoying my new futon sofa (or should I say, "THEIR" futon sofa!), it's a sunny but chilly January Monday (MLK Day & Obama's inaugural), and a good day to catch you all up on my months-long quietness.

I hope your holidays were lovely and peaceful, and that you set some great GOALS for the New Year!

See you in February. Stay warm. Peace.

~Caitlin, Embody Life Coaching

Better Late than Never...

...or a few thoughts on being a Late Bloomer.

We've turned the corner from Winter into Spring (though in the Pacific NW, Spring really DOES come in like the proverbial lion--and I'm hoping it will go out quietly, smoothly, and meekly, like the proverbial lamb, cause the gray weather, blowy wind and slamming sheets of rain can be difficult to take day after day!) and tiny Spring flowers are abundant, poking their little yellow daffodil and white & lavender crocus heads up through the (very wet) earth. Which reminds me of blooming--or blooming LATE, as the case may be.
We live in a "hurry-up" culture and as such, our expectations for our personal timelines are often  unrealistically accelerated. Sure, there are virtuosos who finish college when they're 10 or have the vocal pipes of Pavarotti by the time they're seventeen, but they're truly the exception rather than the rule.
We tend to compare ourselves to others who already seem to be doing the things we think WE should be doing--finishing degrees, finding mates, embarking on lucrative careers, welcoming fame, honing phenomenal talent, getting published, reinventing their lives by dropping 50 pounds and making themselves over physically--whatever they're doing or whatever they seem to have ALREADY, we tell ourselves we "should" be there, too.
We "should" have it. Be it. Do it. Get it. Live it.
As a teen, I used to think I was peculiar because I physically developed later than my sister and a lot of other girls in school, and I carried my insecurities about my physical self around with me for years, long after I'd caught up with my peers. But by then I'd made myself miserable, clinging to an obsolete self-image that managed to find its way into other areas of my life.
All this thinking does is set us up for paralysis and misery, because it has nothing to do with us.

Sure, we can take stock of another person's life to gain inspiration for our own, but actually comparing ourselves is damaging. Who they are, what they're doing, what they have and how they got there is unique to them. Physically, they have different DNA. Career-wise, perhaps they had the support (financial, emotional), the inspiration, the drive, the talent, the curiosity, the self-awareness, the stroke of serendipity to get them where they are RIGHT NOW, while for others of us, it takes longer to glean a more complete picture of who we are, what we want, and where we're going. Generally, it takes growth in the form of years, emotional maturity (simply put, we need to "grow up"), reflection from trusted others, trial and error, and simply experiencing life to figure our paths out. That's most of us.
Hence the "Midlife Crisis," which, I believe, is generally just a (sometimes inconvenient but no less relevant) "waking up" to our potential before all of our years slip away for good.
We all have a timeline that we're asked, in some way, to surrender to (no, we can't control the Universe, try as we might!) and we are all gifted. It just takes time to identify, nurture and grow those gifts. Just like the Spring bulbs that remain dormant in the chilly earth and bloom with the warming of the seasons.
We bloom when we bloom. The trick is to keep moving forever FORWARD, keep feeding our talents, our curiosity, our gifts, keep showing up for OURSELVES and stop "should-ing" on ourselves--that's simply an energy leak. Personal empowerment involves managing our own side of the street, and time spent comparing and fretting over someone else's physical or professional progress is time unwisely spent. We all have our own blueprint and we learn our own unique lessons on our own unique timeline, so that we may ultimately offer our (unique) gifts fully and confidently to the world.
Or as Oscar Wilde is quoted as saying, "Be yourself, because everyone else is taken."